“Sometimes I return back to the state of mind I had as a child when I believed nothing was impossible.”
― Jonathan Harnisch

I stood on the shore of the Lake Pend Oreille swimming in memories, bits and pieces of all the time spent on this beautiful lake as a child and teenager floating to the surface. My parents grew up here and my grandmothers both lived here, along with many of my parent’s siblings, and a slew of cousins. On this day I stood at the City Beach, getting ready for a swim - same City Beach where my mother pulled me out of the kiddy pool unconscious, the pink ruffled butt of my swimming suit sticking up out of the water as I floated face down. Of course I don’t remember any of this, but the story was told over and over throughout my childhood, with a reminder to anyone who took me to any body of water, that I was not afraid and to keep an eye on me.

Lake Pend Oreille is a large lake, the 38th largest lake in the US. It is also deep, 1,158 feet deep in places, with only four lakes in the US deeper. The water is never very warm, but during the summer, if we were on the lake, we were in it from morning to bedtime. Today I still prefer to swim in cold lakes posed to smaller warm lakes or pools. On this day it took me awhile to slip into the water, having checked the water temp and noting it was 63 degrees. But once I did, I didn’t want to get out. My husband had suited up and considered joining me, until he wadded in a bit, deciding instead to sit on the beach and cheer me on. After the swim we drove up and down the streets of Sandpoint as I tried, unsuccessfully to find my grandmother’s old homes.

The weekend was a deep dive into my childhood, starting with placing flowers on my parent’s graves and ending with a beautiful wedding on top of Schweitzer Mountain. Emotions flowed like the waves of this beautiful lake, and I didn’t fight them. On Sunday we jumped back in the car and headed to Coeur d’ Alene to visit some family and then on to my close friend’s lake cabin, where we spent a few nights.

We arrived back home, six days later to find Baker alive and well, eager to see us, our daughter-in-law I am sure, going above and beyond to spoil him and I feel blessed. I arrive home, knowing myself a little bit better, a little bit more confidant in the choices I have made with him to get us to this point in our lives. I arrive home happy and relaxed.

I tell you, cold water swimming will do that for you . . . bringing you back to your body, clearing out the clutter and doubts in your mind, setting the stage for what if’s, certainty, and a bit of tenacity.