I turn off the radio, listen to the quiet. Which has its own, rich sound.
Which I knew, but had forgotten. And it is good to remember.
- Elizabeth Berg
everywhere I turn I see spring showing up
she doesn’t fuss if the rain opens up suddenly, or
if that last little bit of frost makes an appearance
she does her thing with confidence and grace,
and I do my best learn from her
***
Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season.
Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.
_ Henry Cloud
the rain stops midday and I mange to
get out in the garden for a couple of hours
the hydrangea looks sad, so I snip her back
and give her a little pep talk
i make kale and white bean soup for dinner
and we eat it with the last of Jordan’s bread
***
I wake early, too early as now the whole of the day stretches before me. I lay there, the dog curled up beside me, and wonder if this chapter of my life is my real work. If I get through this, maybe I stand a chance.
***
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
we have come to our real work
and when we no longer know which way to go,
we have begun our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.”
― Wendell Berry
“What keeps you going isn't some fine destination but just the road you're on, and the fact that you know how to drive. You keep your eyes open, you see this damned-to-hell world you got born into, and you ask yourself, 'What life can I live that will let me breathe in & out and love somebody or something and not run off screaming into the woods?”
― Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
I work between the rain showers, taking my time, for there is no hurry. I cut back last year’s dead blooms and marvel at the tiny shoots making their way up through the soil. I feel myself relax back into myself. Understanding once again, how this garden keeps balanced, gives me hope, and keeps me sane.
***
He spent the night last night, keeping both grandpa and I on our toes. He was full of energy and tons of imagination. Sometimes it scares me a bit, my love for him so strong. After he went home I sat in the garden and watched the birds and a kind of ease fell over me, an ease that I have not felt for sometime. Love can do that I think.
***