out the window

The house was very quiet, and the fog—we are in November now—pressed against the windows like an excluded ghost.
-”E.M. Forster“

The fog hangs over the lake for days bringing with it a mood that I embrace. I read, getting up out of my chair off and on, to check on the changing view outside the windows. I turn over Thanksgiving plans to my kids telling them I will clean up after they leave if they will plan the menu and do the cooking. And, I take a huge step to help my mental well being, and find I am proud of myself in the process.

***

nostalgia

“It shocks me how I wish for...what is lost and cannot come back.”
― Sue Monk Kidd,

We take a drive down into the Skagit Valley
one very foggy, misty, morning.
I cannot resist giving these two images
a bit of nostalgia.

***

Hope

“Still, what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled — to cast aside the weight of facts and maybe even to float a little above this difficult world. I want to believe I am looking into the white fire of a great mystery. I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing — that the light is everything — that it is more than the sum of each flawed blossom rising and falling. And I do.” 

― Mary Oliver, House of Light

The rain pours off and on all day.
I slip outside for a few minutes just to feel it on my face -
maybe wanting to prove to myself that I am alive,
and capable. Capable of finding beauty in the world
right outside my door.
I am pleased when I find the spider web,
pleased the evergreen glitters like magic,
and, that the rain soaked leaf landed in the perfect spot

***

finding light

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." — Aristotle

I stumble across these images from November 2023, in my reject archives and wonder what it was that made me feel they were not worthy. It also makes me curious as to what else I have abandoned or overlooked in my life.

I have been waking up, the last couple of weeks or so, full of anxiety. It is effecting my well being in all kinds of ways. I know I am not alone in this. And while I am doing my best to stay away from the dark side of the news that is not always possible. These images helped me to see that there is beauty to be found in the tiniest bit of light, beauty that might help ease some of this anxiety I am carrying around inside of me. I am wondering if maybe they will help you too?

***

simplicity

I am struck by the simplicity of light in the atmosphere in the autumn, as if the earth absorbed none,
and out of this profusion of dazzling light came the autumnal tints. 

-Henry David Thoreau

simple things
the colors of the leaves as they turn in our yard
soup on the stove
pausing when I make dinner to say prayers
giving up coffee for a week or so to see how it feels
the sound of the wind
watching the hummingbirds
hot chocolate and a new book
drum class
***

Hello November

“It was one of those early November mornings that are as beautiful as any in spring. There was gold everywhere, drifts of it on the elm tree, flakes of gold under our feet, gold dust on the hedges, liquid gold in the refracted falling light.”
― Elizabeth Goudge, The Dean's Watch

I treasure these first days of November. The sun is out, the leaves glow golden, helping me to get out of my head, and the backyard.

***

bits and pieces of October

"Autumn - the year’s loveliest smile. “
- William Cullen

October was a time of reflection and slowing down. There was rain, lots of it, and wind, but also beautiful pockets of light. I pulled out my 35 mm sigma art lens and slipped out when I could to capture the beauty. I thought some on what anchors me and reached for those things rather than seeking out the opinions of others. I found there was time to rest, which felt like boredom at first, until I discovered it for gift it was. We carved pumpkins one Sunday as we ate chili and cornbread with the kids, and we did our best to put the garden to rest. Baker got his first tooth cleaning and lost a few teeth in the process, but he does not seem to be bothered by the experience. I on the other hand, worried until he was his old self again. I thought some about friendships and how some shift and grow while others just fade away and no one is to blame. And while it seems too soon to fill the bowls with candy and watch as young ghosts and witches pull out their favorites to drop in their bags I know all to well that November waits in the background, ready to help us prepare to welcome winter.

***