what i am after

“The things we felt most are hardest to put into words. Hate is always easier to speak of than love.
How shall I make love go through the sieve of words and come out something besides a pulp?”

― Josephine W. Johnson, Now in November

I take photos of things I love, things that move me in some way or manner.
I am not always centered, or in a good place mentally, but I seek out the photo anyway.
My camera is not always set to deliver the sharpest image, or the best, in truth I am never after that.
What I am after is a way to capture the mood, the feelings, the awareness, and the love, that lies deep inside of me.

change

“It's frightening when things you love appear suddenly changed
from what you have always known.”

― Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible

I make a list of things I would like to change. . .
habits I would like to break . . .
thoughts I would like to let go of . . .
I am not sure what is more frightening -
the possibility that I might be a tiny bit successful -
or the thought that I won’t -

with grace

"Rain is grace; rain is the sky descending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life."

- John Updike

The rain pours all day, and well into the evening. I watch a movie, read a bit, and contemplate how I might fill the long rainy season ahead. Contemplating how to balance loneliness with love, gracefully.

***

bird watching

"Autumn leaves don’t fall; they fly. They take their time and wander on this, their only chance to soar.
Reflecting sunlight, they swirled and sailed and fluttered on the wind drafts."

— Delia Owens (Where the Crawdads Sing)

Black-Eyed Junco

I sat outside in the late afternoon with my camera. He had raked the last of the leaves and the red maple was almost bare. I pulled my hood up over my head, allowing only the lens to peek out. It didn’t take long for the birds to settle in.

yellow leaves

I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen, of meadow-flowers and butterflies in summers that have been; Of yellow leaves and gossamer in autumns that there were, with morning mist and silver sun and wind upon my hair.

- J. R. R. Tolkien

I took these before the rainfall, before the wind swept through and emptied the trees. I took these for proof. Proof that I am here to witness another season.

***