“In Nanaville there is always in the back of my mind the understanding that I am building a memory out of spare parts
and that, someday, that memory will be all that’s left of me.”

― Anna Quindlen, Nanaville: Adventures in Grandparenting

I spend most of the last day of 2024 with Percy. We play with legos, take a long walk, and make each other laugh. There are tender moments, when he crawls into my lap, wraps his arms around me and snuggles a bit. He plays with purpose and seems to always have a plan. I do my best to follow his lead for this is his time and who am I to question how we pass it. When it is time for me to go home he gives hugs and then steps out onto the porch, in his stocking feet, to blow me tons of kisses. I turn towards him, and catch every single one of them. I drive home with a lump in my throat as the love I have for him overwhelms me. I remind myself once again how lucky I am to spend the day just playing on the floor with this boy.

***

“Many of us have made our world so familiar that we do not see it anymore.
”An interesting question to ask yourself at night is, What did I really see this day?”

- John O'Donohue

The rain has been relentless. Restless, I suggest we go for a ride. He suggests heading to the water to walk among the fishing boats. There is a slight drizzle, but the wind is calm and the boats, as always, are fascinating. I pause and study the gear onboard and can’t help but wonder what it all is used for. The boats are clean and tidy and enormous.

I find the frog at eye level on a vessel called the Masquerader. I am sure the boat has not been taken out in years, as it has been here every time I have come, in the same condition. But the frog is new. I am curious about it.

I have been thinking a lot about this space and the different shapes it has taken over the years. I remind myself that there is a slight possibility that this is a sign of growth, and not just random ramblings.

I challenge you to go to bed tonight and ask yourself . . .
What did I really see this day?

***

He talks to a couple of the fishermen, one going out, the other coming in.

On our way out we stop at the shop to chat with Brandon for a bit. I watch as a few customers ask questions about feathers and colors for tying flies and I think of my father. Memories flooding my brain as I remember sitting on his lap, as a child, tying my very own flies.