“In the middle of the night, things well up from the past that are not always cause for rejoicing--the unsolved, the painful encounters, the mistakes, the reasons for shame or woe. But all, good or bad, give me food for thought, food to grow on.”
― May Sarton, At Seventy: A Journal
The last couple of weeks have been challenging. I find myself wallowing in the past, unable to find my way clear of the sorrow that envelops me. I fight hard to move forward, relying on old routines and strategies to work my way through this bout of depression, but if I am truthful, I am on auto pilot, doing the same things over and over again, hoping for a different outcome.
It is not that I can’t find beauty and joy in the world, for I can, after all it is tomato season! But dang, the jousting that goes on inside my head is a killjoy, and all consuming. I am exhausted. So, I have made of list of ways that I might reclaim the way I live my life, no apologies allowed. A clean slate if you will, as I walk into my 70’s, before I run out of time.