“Kids are hard -they drive you crazy and break your heart - whereas grandchildren make you feel great about life, and yourself, and your ability to love someone unconditionally, finally, after all these years.”
― Anne Lamott
He suddenly seems so big. Talking in full sentences, having strong opinions, and full of questions. He places every kiss I give him in his pocket to save for later, just in case, and wraps his arms around my neck for a hug, when I least expect it.
We walk his neighborhood, following the garbage and recycling trucks, looking for cats, each of us pointing out things of interest. We arrive back at his house, our senses awakened. I find myself overwhelmed with love, hope and beauty. I fix him a snack and read to him while he eats. When he is done he hops down off the couch to play with his dinosaurs, making up stories as he plays. I sit and watch, not wanting to interrupt his narrative but also not wanting to miss a thing.
Time is fleeting and I find myself in a period of growth, mentally and physically. I feel a centering I have not felt in ages, and wake each morning with purpose and anticipation. Maybe it is the weather, or maybe I am finally looking at myself with more self compassion, recognizing this period of my life is truly the time for giving myself permission to slow down and allow myself to do what brings me joy. I am wise enough to know my moods can change on a whim, but this does seem to feel a bit different.
“But here was the world, screeching its beauty at her day after day, and she felt grateful for it.”
― Elizabeth Strout, Olive, Again