“I'd been afraid I'd somehow been giving a life I hadn't deserved, but that's ridiculous. We don't deserve anything - not the suffering and not the golden light. It just comes.”
― Ann Patchett, These Precious Days: Essays
The bridge between beauty and heartache is constantly shifting. I stand in the middle, edging ever so slightly in one direction or the other, until I find myself planted firmly in light or darkness. Lately lightness prevails, even as uncertainty about what the future may hold grows within me. I don’t scold myself or try and second guess my actions or emotions, but rather seem to be able to sit with both, and find lessons and value in each of them.
I have found my voice and my worth, both arriving unexpectedly, out of the blue. It is not something I deserve, nor do I feel privileged or special. If truth be told I think it has to do with age. With age has come the sheer understanding that life is full of suffering and golden light, that we learn from both and within the compounds of our life, will encounter both.
The only thing we can do is care for ourselves and for others, while opening not only our hearts, but also our minds, with compassion.
“We speak of ourselves as being blessed, but what can that mean except that others are not blessed, and that God has picked out a few of us to love more? It is our responsibility to care for one another, to create fairness in the face of unfairness and find equality where none may have existed in the past.”
- Ann Patchett, These Precious Days